I went back to kempo class on Thursday. My gi fits (it's a miracle!) and I still remember some of the material I was learning before I got pregnant. I can't go back as often as I used to, but he's opened up the studio in the mornings for open workouts, so I can go in during the morning for reviews and working my strength back up for class.

But, boy, am I sore! Not as sore as I expected to be, but still sore.

Doesn't help that I was rearranging the bedroom yesterday, too. The place was driving me NUTS. It's horribly cluttered, covered in clothes, and I wasn't able to walk in there. It needed work STAT. It's still in progress, but I can see a positive outcome!

The other challenge I've had lately is not necessarily something everyone wants to read, so it's behind a cut.

I'm trying to wean the baby off the nipple shield. Talk about nipple confusion! I have flat nipples, so I've been using the shield to draw them out. I have to wash it before every feeding, and sometimes I forget to, so it makes him angrier having to wait. Trying to use it when feeding him in public is a big hassle, because he's getting squirmy, and the shield doesn't stay on very well when he's wiggling around and yanking it off. It gets hairs on it from the hooter-hider. I have to find a place to wash it. And God forbid I forget it before going out!

So, I tried to wean him off of it beginning the day before yesterday. He WAS NOT HAPPY about it at first, especially since he had gas, too, and was squirming all over. Now he'll eat off the actual nipple, with a decent latch, but it's hard work getting him to open his mouth wide enough and then STAY ON for more than five minutes (he's a lazy sucker; doesn't even hold on to a pacifier very well). My easy-peasy thirty- to forty-minute feeding sessions have turned into hit-or-miss guesswork, so they take longer. They've also become much messier (and I thought the shield was messy!). And a bit more painful. Keeping track of the time he's been eating from one side is now very difficult, I can't just hold him with one hand or arm and do something with the other hand, and one of us is likely to give up before we're done. It's very frustrating. I do wish I'd tried this when he was much younger (read: smaller) and less likely to be set in his ways.

Part of me wants to go back to the nipple shield, but part of me really wants to get him used to eating off a real nipple. I need to pay another visit to the lactation consultant. I know this will take practice and patience, but I was just about to figure out when I could plan appointments, and now I'm back at square one. *Sigh* I just wanted it to be more convenient for the both of us, and now I'm wondering which is more convenient . . .

[A little time passes . . . ]

Well, after typing that, we had a fairly successful feeding session, except that around seven minutes, or so, he starts pulling off and getting upset. Is it gas? Does the milk not taste right, or is something I'm eating giving him a tummy ache? Is there enough milk? Is he not used to forced gulping*? Is he just throwing a fit? (*Milk could pool in the shield and he could suck it out. Now, it should be going straight to his throat. I'm not sure if it's scaring or bothering him, or something.) Frustrating for both of us . . .

Lastly, the laptop seems to be having issues. The backlight has been blinking out, and the computer turns itself off sometimes. I have to powercycle it to get it to come back on (that is, I have to take out the charger and pop out the battery). It's not had an easy life, so it's getting a little long in the tooth. But it's not a good time to need to buy a new laptop; especially not an Apple laptop. And I'm really not crazy about going to a Windows machine, even though I can get a discount on a Dell through Mary Kay. I don't know . . . I do know that I have to back this thing up fanatically for a while and somehow store all my bookmarks. I need to go through and write down all my passwords and logins, too.

Right now, though, I really ought to make some phone calls and go back to cleaning my room. It needs to be done, and I don't want someone else to do it, so I'm the one to do it. Tonight, I'm going to my parents' house so they can get some grandparent time and I can get a bath and some sleep. Hopefully that will help my state of mind . . .

Laterz!

After this last frustrating feeding, I Googled "gas+breastfeeding" and ran across some information about forceful letdown. He and I have all the symptoms, even with the nipple shield. There is a feeding position I haven't yet tried, which I will next time, and a suggestion to have him use only one breast per feeding, which I used to do and stopped because it was recommended that I switch after a period of time. In the meantime, though, I think I'll go back to the nipple shield. I think the combination of that one feeding position, single-breast feeding, and the nipple shield will make life easier on both of us, at least for a little while. I do need to make an appointment with the lactation consultant, though. I might be able to get one this week, hopefully . . .